We have the tendency of getting in our own way. If I could just get out of my own way, we tell ourselves, I would be able to accomplish my goals. If we could just get out of our own way, we would be able to accomplish lots of things. We would work on our health, work on our mental health, go to therapy, go to treatment, see a doctor, get to the gym, spend time outside, not procrastinate, and get to living all of the life that we truly desire to live. Yet, we get in our own way. How we get in our own way differs for each of us depending on who we are, what we’ve been through in life, and the lessons we have learned along the way. Our self-defeat might be procrastination or it might be self-sabotage. Whatever unconscious challenges we create for ourselves, we are still creating them and making it nearly impossible for ourselves to move forward in our lives.
Defeat means to have victory over. Our self-defeating behaviors are not victorious in the positive, celebratory sense. Think of our self-defeating behaviors as our challengers, our enemies, our nemesis on the battlefront. As we wage forward, these adversaries come in and block our path, fight us, and ultimately, defeat us. Self-defeating behaviors are equally as much self-destructive behaviors and self-sabotaging behaviors. They are all of the behaviors which we let not only get in our way, but beat us down, and hold us back.
Changing Self-Defeating Behaviors
If we could see our enemies coming down the line, readying their weapons to throw us off track, we would find ourselves preparing to fight them and persevere regardless of their affront. As Vernon Howard once said, “All forms of self-defeating behavior are unseen and unconscious, which is why their existence is denied.” Until we know we are acting in self-defeating ways, we cannot prevent our self-defeating behaviors. We have to first become aware, then discover the story, and work to change the behaviors.
Everyone has a trauma story and everyone’s story can manifest differently, including a variety of self-defeating behaviors. Your life doesn’t have to be ruled by the unconscious anymore. Stop the cycle of self-defeat and walk into the light of recovery. We’ll meet you there. The Guest House is here to show you the way.
Everyone’s story starts before treatment. Everyone’s story changes the minute they arrive to treatment. The Guest House Ocala offers residential programming for trauma, addictions, and related mental health issues, customized to meet your unique needs. Call us today for information on life at the estate: 1-855-483-7800