One common habit we can fall into that detracts from our recovery is blaming our addictions for all of our many problems and seeing it as the culprit behind why we’re so unhappy in our lives. We see our addictions as the source of all our issues, so understandably we begin to resent our addictions and mental health issues. We use our addictions as the scapegoat for everything else going on in our lives, not realizing that all of our problems are interrelated, and our underlying fears, wounds, and traumas may very well have contributed to our problems with addiction in the first place. When we blame our problems on our addictions without looking at them further, without examining and addressing our unresolved issues, we can not only worsen our addictive patterns but all the other difficult issues we have going on as well, because we aren’t healing, we’re simply assigning blame as a means of avoiding whatever we don’t want to confront.
When we place all the blame for everything in our lives on our addictions, we might be subconsciously trying to alleviate the blame we feel for how our lives have turned out. We feel bad about ourselves, insecure, embarrassed and ashamed. We feel disappointed in ourselves. We sometimes find it easier to blame everything on our addictions than to really do some intense self-exploration around why we’re in these difficult situations in the first place. We’re afraid to look at why and how we became addicted to a substance or behavior. We’re afraid to look at the fears and pain that contributed to our becoming addicts and developing mental health issues. Our deeper sources of pain are terrifying for us, so just like we distract ourselves from them with our drugs of choice, sometimes we try to distract ourselves by blaming everything on our addictions.
Identifying Your Role
It can be hard, and a huge lesson in humility, to acknowledge when our own self-destructiveness, our own pain responses, and our own lack of self-awareness have contributed to our own struggles. We don’t want to blame ourselves. We don’t want to feel any more ashamed of ourselves than we already do. We’re afraid of feeling weak and vulnerable. When we continue to blame everything on our addictions, we aren’t learning anything about our true selves and what we need in order to heal. We’re ignoring the lessons and trying to bypass the spiritual tests. In a way, we’re trying to take the easy way out. Ultimately, we don’t want to assign blame or beat ourselves up, because these are neither helpful nor productive, but we do want to start addressing the deeper issues and stop scapegoating our addictions. Our addictive patterns are often a symptom of our underlying issues rather than the initial cause of them.
The Guest House is a welcoming and supportive recovery home where you will be met with open arms, wherever you are on your journey, without judgment or expectation. Call 855-483-7800 today for more information.