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How Do I Know If I Am Enabling My Loved One?


Addiction is often a factor with someone who is trying to numb out the pain of their trauma. When you see that your loved one is suffering from drug and alcohol addiction, you may give them a pass to allow them to forget about the problematic hand they were dealt.

Rather than try to get them to stop, you may find yourself allowing them to get away with adverse behaviors because you feel bad for them. Although you may feel like you are doing the right thing for them, enabling them actually does more harm than good.

You Are Keeping Them From Hitting Their Bottom.

Understandably, you do not want your loved one to hurt themselves or others, so you will do whatever you can to save them. You will lie for them, cover up for them, or give them whatever they need to keep them from hitting bottom. What you are displaying is that you are addicted to their addiction. Instead of getting them help, you would rather just do whatever they need to prevent them from going to jail or suffer in their consequences.

Not only are you hurting their chances of getting sober, but you are also keeping yourself from living the life you were meant to. Being tied up in their drama gives you a purpose as being their hero when you are only holding yourself back from your full potential.

You Are Codependent

If you are enabling, there is a good chance that you have become codependent on them and their addiction. Codependency kills more people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol than the disease of addiction itself. The codependent does not know how to say no because they see their actions as love. Instead of loving them to death, you can start holding a bottom line to their addiction to give them a chance to live.

Rather than thinking rationally about their addiction, you are allowing your emotions to take over and make decisions. Getting help for yourself regarding addiction, even though you are not one taking action to get drunk or high, can be a blessing to everyone involved. Taking the lead to receive guidance on how to deal with your enabling behaviors could be the very thing that saves them.

At The Guest House Ocala, we have personal recovery experience and over 12 years in the recovery industry. We have helped countless people recover, and we’re here to help you too. Call (855) 372-1079 today for more information.