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Why is Apologizing So Hard For Us?

One of the elements of our recovery programs that we find most challenging is the act of making amends to the people we’ve hurt throughout our struggles with addiction. We have a very hard time forgiving ourselves and also seeking forgiveness. We find apologizing to be extremely difficult. Some of us never move past our fear of apologizing and as a result are never able to make peace with the people we’ve wronged. We’re left feeling even more ashamed of ourselves than we already did, using our drugs of choice to cope with our remorse, regret and disappointment. Why is apologizing so hard for us?

Emotional Blocks

When we have a hard time apologizing to the people we’ve hurt, it’s often because we’re inundating ourselves with so much guilt for the things we’ve done wrong, and shame about who we are as people, that we can’t take proactive steps forward in the healing process. We become stuck in the grief of the pain we’ve caused, in the shame we feel, in our feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. We don’t practice self-forgiveness, which can open our hearts to ourselves and help us reconnect with ourselves, making us better able to seek forgiveness from others. Rather than focusing on the solution, making amends and finding peace, we focus on the problem – the pain we’ve caused. We replay memories of our mistakes and wrongdoings over and over again in our minds. We obsess about our shameful memories. We dwell on the belief that we’re horrible, shameful, immoral people. We believe we don’t deserve happiness or forgiveness. When we feel we should make amends to someone we’ve hurt, all of these painful emotions can block us from taking that step forward. They keep us locked in our pain.

Fears and Conditioned Beliefs

Many of us struggle to apologize because we are prideful and afraid to show the humility and vulnerability that come with making amends. We don’t want people to think less of us. We fear being judged. We might have been conditioned to think that confessing our mistakes is a sign of weakness and defeat. We might have been taught to focus on our strengths and never on our weaknesses, the things we want to improve upon within ourselves, because that would mean we’re admitting to not being good enough. When we think of apologizing, we associate it with all the judgment and condemnation we’re so afraid to face, and we let our fears block us from seeking forgiveness.

At The Guest House Ocala, you will be treated with dignity, respect and compassion.

Call 855-483-7800 today for more information on our treatment programs.

3230 Northeast 55th Avenue Silver Springs, FL 34488