As the loved ones and friends of addicts, we often feel inclined to want to help them so much that we end up taking more responsibility than we should for their recovery. We see them not doing the work they need to do in order to recover, so we step in, hoping we’ll inspire them to take their recovery more seriously. We might intervene and start taking the steps they ought to be taking for themselves, trying to plan their treatment programs, or reaching out on their behalf to other people to try to make amends to them. We might make excuses for their complacence, bailing them out of whatever trouble they get themselves in, justifying their lack of effort, enabling their addictive habits. We are essentially doing the work for them, and we feel responsible for them, because we love them and want them to get better. When we don’t see them taking the steps they need to take for themselves, we often will try and take over, not realizing that we are taking away their opportunity to take accountability for themselves.
Doing a Disservice From Our Good Intentions
We often don’t mean to be overbearing when we’re trying to be supportive. We usually have the best of intentions, to be there for our loved ones as they work to recover. The problem with our methods, though, is that the more responsibility we take for other people, the less responsibility they take for themselves. They can become complacent and lazy, knowing there is someone else to do the work for them. They can remain settled within their comfort zone, sticking to their familiar routines, not pushing themselves to make changes. Our desire to help our loved ones can wind up doing them a disservice. They aren’t working to get better. Often they give up trying altogether, because they know there is someone there to pick up the pieces for them.
Resisting the Impulse to Save Them
When our loved one is struggling with addiction, we need to resist the impulse to rescue them, to do their work for them, to take over their recovery and try to save them. The work to recover belongs to each of us as individuals, and nothing anyone else does to try and help us can replace the work we must do for ourselves. The sooner we learn to take responsibility for ourselves and our sobriety, the sooner we can make strides in our recovery.
Are you ready to take the first step on your journey to recovery?
Call The Guest House today! 855-483-7800.
theguesthouseocala.com
3230 Northeast 55th Avenue Silver Springs, FL 34488