Love and support are both beautiful things. We need both to successfully journey through life and continue to face our recovery. However, many of us struggle to receive love, especially after we are sober and leading a healthier lifestyle. We can give love, but accepting it from others is an entirely different story. Why is that? Why do so many of us struggle with this concept? We are all on unique journeys and facing different histories and triggers. Love is an emotion that has a lot of other emotions built up underneath it. Learning why you struggle with certain feelings will be important as you continue on the road to your recovery. We are all trying to grow continuously and overcome hurdles placed before us. Love is no less important than anything else you have faced and worked through. On the contrary, learning to accept the love given to you from healthy and supportive relationships is a massive life goal. Here are a few different reasons that some of us struggle to accept love during our long-term recovery.
We Don’t Feel We Deserve Love
Often people struggle to accept love because they simply feel as if they do not deserve that love. For those of us who have gone through addiction and are now sober, we sometimes struggle to let our past go. We still think of all the things we did wrong while we were facing an active addiction. We said things to our loved ones that we feel are unforgivable. We did things that hurt those closest to us. Addiction is a powerful force. It probably consumed your entire life. Learning to accept your past will help you to forgive yourself. When we forgive ourselves, we can move forward and accept that we are a different person today than we were when we were facing an addiction. Learning that you deserve love can take time. Keep moving forward towards your goals, and accept the support around you.
Failure to Notice Love
Recovery can be almost as consuming as an addiction at times. We can become laser-focused on our goals as we work through our triggers and strive to understand our emotions. It is good to focus on your goals, but remember to stay in the moment with your support circle as well. We all need support. Take notice of who is around you, who is supporting you, and who is loving you. When we take the time to notice this, we can be more appreciative of what we are receiving, and then we can give support and love back.
Fear of Love’s Authenticity
Many of us struggle with fear when it comes to accepting love. We have all been in situations and relationships where the other person’s love or desire was not genuine. Toxic relationships have a way of sticking with us, always in the back of our minds when we meet new people or start to develop feelings for someone. We may even fear the love from family and friends during different times in our lives. Your history will tell you a lot about why you fear certain things. Sometimes those underlying emotions and triggers are difficult to understand. That is when working with a professional can be helpful. A therapist can help you understand how your past is affecting your current state. We often do not even realize that certain experiences in our past are affecting us until we take the time to sit down and discuss them.
Work on Being Open To Love
The process of recovery looks different for everyone because everyone is working through different challenges. Many of us, at some point, need to work on opening up to others. We must learn first to distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy relationship. Maintaining our sobriety is very important, and the relationships around us can impact our mental health. When we surround ourselves with supportive and loving relationships, we can feel more comfortable opening up to those relationships. Learning to accept the love given by others can be challenging. It is scary to open up to others because then there is a chance we can get hurt. Our fears can tell us a lot about what we still need to work on. Opening up can be connected to control in some individuals. Take time to work with a professional to understand your underlying emotions better; begin to work through the process of opening up and accepting the love that is given to you.
The process of recovery is a lifelong journey. The goal for most people is to maintain their sobriety and continue to grow as a person. The process of learning to accept love is a challenge that a lot of us have to face after getting sober. It can be difficult to see past all the mistakes we made when we struggled with an active addiction. Sometimes we may feel unworthy of that love or scared that it may not be genuine. These fears can stifle our growth, stop the formation of new relationships, and hinder our overall well-being and connectivity within our support circle. Learning to understand underlying emotions can be a good place to start the learning to open up. When we can understand where our fears stem from, we can better work through them. Here at The Guest House, we know that most people need support even while living a healthy and sober lifestyle. We can help you work towards your goals and give you the support that you need. Learning to accept love is part of the recovery process and important to the well-being and mental health. Call Guest House to learn more at (855) 483-7800.