When we’re working to recover from our addictions and mental illnesses, there are some lessons we can take from the wisdom of children, from the perspective they have on the world and the ways in which they look at life. We associate childhood with innocence and naiveté, but there is an intelligence in children thanRead More
Strong Attachments in Toxic Relationships Trauma bonds are the strong attachments we form because of shared trauma, often in toxic and abusive relationships where we are experiencing, witnessing and contributing to the traumatic dynamics between us. When we’re in deeply unhealthy relationships, many of us sustain recurring cycles of trauma and repeating patterns of mistreatment.Read More
Self-Escapism Sometimes when we use our drug of choice, our motivation is not to enjoy the high we get from the substance but to lose consciousness altogether. We feel driven to get so high, so wasted, so inebriated that we forget everything we’re thinking and feeling, everything that’s causing us pain. We want to forgetRead More
For many of us living with addiction, one of the elements of our recovery is examining how the dynamics and experiences of our families have contributed to our addictions. We might feel inclined to avoid looking at our families altogether. We might not want to address how we’ve been impacted by them. We might haveRead More
When we haven’t yet learned healthy techniques to navigate our difficult emotions, we tend to fall into unhealthy emotional patterns of trying to escape our pain and numb ourselves from it. We use our drugs of choice, our addictive substances, and behaviors, to self-medicate from the emotions we’re having a hard time facing. Very oftenRead More
When we’ve relapsed, we’re hit with all kinds of painful emotions that are so hard to live with, that we have a hard time accepting, and that can continue to fuel our addictive patterns because we’re tempted to use our drugs of choice to escape them. We feel disappointed in ourselves. We feel heartbroken. WeRead More
Many of us struggling with addiction and mental illness also consider ourselves to be empathic, meaning we’re highly sensitive to other people’s emotions and can feel them alongside them. Our empathy can make us wonderful friends and confidantes. We’re known for being supportive of people and wanting to help them get through their many challenges.Read More
Our experiences with addiction can come with some very complex interpersonal relationship dynamics that can be very hard for us to understand. One of these dynamics is our resistance to the compassion and support of our loved ones. Most of us would probably assume that anyone would want to be helped while struggling with somethingRead More
For those of us dealing with addiction in our lives or the people we love, one challenge we repeatedly find ourselves up against is people trying to convince others to change. Sometimes we’re the ones trying to convince others to change, and sometimes it’s our loved ones trying to convince us. We might be onRead More
As we’re working to recover, therapy is one of the main elements of our recovery programs, and along with our individual therapeutic work, and the work we do in groups, many of us will decide to also try family therapy. This can be a daunting undertaking. Many of us have been estranged from our familiesRead More